Out of the corner of my eye

When I was planning events full time, I was an expert in what I coined "WCS." Worst Case Scenario. I thought this made me better prepared for everything to go to hell in a hand basket. [If the awardee was tipsy before his speech, or if it started pouring in the middle of the 5K ribbon ceremony I would be prepared].

When something inconvenient or discouraging happens in my life [I spill salsa on my white skirt seconds before leaving for a party, say, or I lock my keys in the car] the phrase, "Of course" inevitably follows. (This crappy thing just happened to me. Of course. It's only natural).

When my husband (or mom or friend or colleague) is late or unreachable via text or phone for longer than fifteen minutes, I imagine a huge car accident. [Maybe they're in an ambulance and he doesn't have me listed as "wife" on his phone so they don't know who to call...]

When I can sense that something is about to happen, or that someone is standing right over my shoulder, I start an internal preparation for horrible dream-killing news. [What would I do if I was grabbed and attacked? Or, Maybe this job that I love is "too good to be true" and my contract won't be renewed].

When I see a speck or shadow out of the corner of my eye, my first reaction is one of fear [Is it a spider?! Is it a demon?! An assailant in my shower could be waiting to harm me!!]

Well, I've had enough. There's a lot of power in the corner of one's eye. If i were to add up all the seconds accumulated entertaining those thoughts, it would be astounding. A lot is lost living in a place of "oh well"s and worst case scenarios. Worry and suppositions of scary possibilities saps us of something palpable: expectation of good.

If I truly believe that God is a loving Father then why do I assume the worst? I can now assume the Best Case Scenario will occur. I can believe that when I sense that something is about to break into my life that it will be a beautiful blessing. [My husband is probably late because he encouraged a stranger or because he stopped to get me flowers].

"Of course" can be a phrase I use when things go my way. [If I get all the green lights on the way to work or if the recipe I try is delicious... "of course!"]

I will expect good and clean out that corner of my eye. I can believe it's an angel I sense behind me.

This is why: God is good. He works things together for us to prosper. He likes [good] surprises. His spirit creates joy and freedom. I can actually EXPECT the good. His power and influence is increasing. Everything is NOT going to Hell. I'm going to stand on the side of hope, of God showing up.

Out of the corner of my eye I choose to see things that are lovely, noble and true. I want to train my mind to be an expector of God showing up. I can hear Ella Fitzgerald singing, "the best is yet to come..." over my life. I want to be the resident expert in BCS. Best Case Scenario.

When this is a challenge, there are reminders to keep us in the expectation of good. My son's face is one of those for me. I was worried about him my entire pregnancy. I entertained WCS's I will not list here instead of letting myself dream about the blessing growing inside me

I worried constantly, but instead of tragedy, I got this little sleeping face in my arms.

Of course.

May you have eyes to see the beauty. --Meg Tess